Written by Sarah Haught, M.A., Hope Focused Certified Therapist and Member of the Society for Christian Accommodated Treatments and Programs at Regent University
There is considerable research that has developed to show that positive prayer for your partner has effects both relationally and spiritually. For those that use Lectio Divina in their prayer walk, this post gives ideas on how to focus your prayer on your relationship.
Lectio Divina for Couples
You may have wondered - Lectio Divina? What does that mean? And how does it apply to my marriage relationship? These are all good questions we will explore further in the next few moments. Lectio Divina literally translates to “divine reading” and refers to a Christian practice of contemplation and reflection that began in monastic communities. This practice considers how prayerfully and slowly reading scripture offers a unique opportunity to experience God’s presence and seek guidance from the Holy Spirit as you intentionally dwell in scripture.
While individuals may engage in this practice in their own quiet devotional time, utilizing
it may be a beneficial habit for Christian couples to implement as they seek to draw near
to God and honor Him with their marriage. In this way, Lectio Divina allows partners to
strengthen communion with God and knowledge of His word individually and seek His
presence together through shared reflection practice.
Selecting a Passage
As you think about passages you might like to reflect on together, some might
immediately come to mind. Perhaps a certain verse has stood out to you recently, or
maybe you have a special scripture that has provided comfort and encouragement
throughout your message. If you cannot think of a particular passage, that’s alright! We
have a few ideas listed below:
Genesis 1:27-28 - “So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he
created him; male and female he created them. And God blessed them. And God said
to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over
the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that
moves on the earth.”
Romans 12:1-2 - “I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present
your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual
worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your
mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and
acceptable and perfect.”
James 1: 22-25 - “But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves.
For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently
at his natural face in a mirror. For he looks at himself and goes away and at once
forgets what he was like. But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty,
and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in
his doing.”
Ephesians 4: 32 - “Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as
God in Christ forgave you.”
I Corinthians 13: 4-7 - “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not
arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does
not rejoice at wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all
things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
Matthew 6:33-34 - “But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all
these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for
tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”
Beginning Your Lectio Divina:
1. Prepare (Silencio): Once you have selected a scripture, quiet your heart,
placing yourself in God’s presence. Offer this time to God.
2. Read Slowly (Lectio): Slowly read the passage out loud. Perhaps you
would like to alternate, taking turns with your partner. Allow the words to
settle and resonate in your heart. After a pause, re-read the passage out
loud. Repeat this reading silently or aloud as often as you and your partner
feel led, listening for the word or phrase that catches your attention and
your heart. This phrase may be the same for you and your partner, or it
may be different. You may take a moment to share with one another about
what stands out to you. When you have a sense of that word or phrase,
you may return your attention and continue reflecting together, seeking
God’s presence.
3. Reflect (Meditatio): Take time to sit together with the word or phrase that
caught your attention. Re-read the passage if it feels right, stopping at that
word or phrase again to slowly drink it in. Perhaps repeating the word or
phrase quietly or silently feels right. Perhaps entering the passage’s
biblical scene in your imagination seems appropriate. Ask God to lead you
as you explore this phrase at a heart level.
4. Pray (Oratio): Talk to the Lord about the phrase He has highlighted and
what’s coming up. You and your partner may alternate praying aloud
together. Journaling might be useful to you as well. How is God addressing
you in this Word and inviting you to respond? Allow the Word to guide you
into a prayerful response.
5. Rest (Contemplatio): Rest in God’s presence together. Receive God’s
word deeply and rest in His presence and rich love. Allow yourselves time
to wait and be still before you re-enter life as usual. Stay with the Lord until
you feel prompted
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